Today is the 36 anniversary of Jimi Hendrix death.

OK, not earth shattering news to most people. For good or bad, I tend to contextualize a lot of stuff. Hendrix -- his life and death and spiritual wanderings -- has alwasy spoken to me on the non-explainable level. His music is so amazing ... yet so raw ... and his lyrics carry a mysical quality for me that I'm still not sure how to totally verbalize. So, here's a glass (of Vernors this time) in memory of another musical genius gone before his time.

Other musings ... I opened today, which in my job is a 4:45 am proposition. I am not a morning person, nor had any real desire to become one. But with the schedule we keep at home, it's a good time to get in 5 or 6 hours work before my children even think about getting serious about their studies.

So, I go to work, and the kids are here with B. for a while. Sometimes, they are on their own (with the 15 and 13 year old in charge) for a little while. I get home, and attempt to help them with their work. I tell ya, algebra is almost impossible with very little sleep.

On good days, I get a nap. But if it's too long, I am literally hung over most of the day and useless to anyone or anything. If it's too little, I get physically sick. If it's just right, I can function a little longer than no sleep. I keep going ... kind of like the movie, Crank, if anyone has seen it (I haven't -- just heard about it). As soon as I stop, I plunge into a sleep rivaled only by that induced by heavy amounts of alcohol. It's actually when I sleep best ... the sleep deprivation, I mean.

This whole cycle is what's making me consider dropping the coffee shop job -- or at least seriously cutting back. (all the kids I work with talk about this irony ... we work at a coffee shop, but most of us are exhausted all the time -- weird) I do it because it works with my kid's schedule. But then, I'm still seriously inhibited the rest of the day. If I close, then I miss most of the family time. If I do what's called a "mid," I can't school my kids. I'm still looking for the answer here.

I really shouldn't even post this tonight. My ramblings are random, at best, when I'm like this. But I really don't want to get out of the habit of writing consistantly. It's good for me ... the whole "focusing on what you're wired to do" thing. In fact, I'm almost done with my first fictional short story. I don't think it's very good, but it's a serious attempt.

Anyway, I guess that's it for my day. Oh! My kids started fencing tonight. Who knew there is so much to the sport. They both really enjoyed it (just the older kids are doing it), and they are even talking about being serious enough for it to buy equipment from their own money. Again, they never stop amazing me.

I think I should blog on my need for approval sometime. I had a couple of situations today that reminded me I am still not "over" that part of my personality the way I think I should be. But tonight's writing would be way too transparent, and I'm just not sure I'm willing to go there yet.